Sleepless nights v/s External Impediments

We love to create impediments in our own path. It helps us create an imaginary cushion against ugly surprises. By creating impediments we ensure that expectations can be easily beaten

Example 1-
If we don't study for the big test, we will not be expected  to do well. The performance will be counted 'at par' if we don't do well. An average performance on the other hand will mean we have over-performed. Either way, an exciting possibility will remain- "Imagine what I could have accomplished, had I prepared well". Nice and convenient. 

Example 2-
Prepare well but hide it from family and friends. The scenarios given in the above example still apply but deep down inside we know what really happened. We want to avoid knowing what our best efforts can achieve. "I was not feeling well". Again, quite typical and accommodating. 

In both cases it might appear to be a win-win situation but its actually just the opposite. We are avoiding reality checks and eliminating every possibility of knowing what we are capable of. It may help us sleep at night but over a period of time we have only managed to force ourselves into mediocrity. 

By creating a big mountain of impediments that we have blocked our vision (literally and figuratively). The real pity is - we knew all along that we are not as good as we imagined ourselves to be, and yet tricked ourselves to not do anything about it. Looks more like a lose-lose situation now, doesn't it?

It doesn't have to be that way. I guess sleepless nights are not that bad, if you look at it this way. At least they help us be true to ourselves